he knows me, quite well. we're very fond of each other. since our dating escapade began there has been one day where we didn't see each other. he takes care of me when i'm sick and makes me laugh every day. the relationship has potential-- clearly-- but i am not the stereotypical mormon girl and we are far from the stereotypical mormon couple.
for some people, they know.
faster than lightening.
and while it seems a bit bizarre and crazy, i respect that.
it's just not me.
i am still baffled by the half-a-dozen engagements that have popped up on facebook of couples who have known each other less time than mr. k and i have dated. what? i want to pull a sassy gay friend and say, "what, what, WHAT are you doing?"
am i the only one that is terrified by forever?
having almost gone down that road not too long ago, i get how sparkly diamonds are and how exciting wedding dress shopping can be. but, marriage is about more than a fancy wedding and getting it on {marvin gaye style}.
marriage is for-ev-er.
say it with me smalls-- for-ev-er.
it seems wherever i turn people are asking when mr. k and i are tying the knot.
i can't even express my frustration at {random} people's nosiness and unsolicited advice of when we should be getting married! mr. k has it even worse-- people tell him at least weekly he needs to propose before i get away. ahem--may i reemphasize-- two months people!
i believe in dating through the seasons. i want to know who i'm going to marry. i don't want to just go off a warm-fuzzy feeling because that could be oxytocin or my sex-drive talking.
i want to see my future hubster in all kinds of situations-- see him with his family, friends, and kids; experience his range of emotions-- upset, happy, tired, scared, goofy, grumpy; talk about big issues and insecurities; do the dishes together; know where he stands and what he believes in.
it takes time to know someone. you don't need to get married fast to prove your love-- i think the more deeply you know someone the more capable you are of loving them completely.
i guess what i'm trying to say is...
i don't fit the mormon marriage mold.
{thank heavens}
mr. k and i are going by our own dating agenda.
4 comments:
definitely date through the seasons! looking back, i am so happy that me and craig didn't jump right into marriage and that we dated for longer than most couples. i'm not saying that dating a year and then getting engaged is for everyone but it was for me.
Amen!!! People ask all the time when me and Anson are getting married when we've been dating like four months! Its all kinds of obnoxious!
Becky...I love reading your blog. You are so good at putting your emotions to "paper" so to speak. Just do what feels right, regardless of time or opinions of others. When the right guy and the right time come, you WILL KNOW IT! Don't let it scare you. It may not happen as you expect it to, but it will happen when it is right for you.
Keep in mind that I SWORE I would never marry someone after dating them only a short time...but you know that didn't happen with Jed and I. I kinda had to eat my words. But then again, I knew it was right. I knew it from the very beginning that we would be together and that was totally unexpected because I had never felt that way about anyone!
You're right. It's not about the wedding rings or the invitations or the cake...it's about who you want to spend eternity with.
When you take the time to really talk and ask each other the "hard" questions while you are dating you are preparing yourself to have that happily ever after that everyone talks about. It's when you date blissfully without asking the hard questions and then get married that you may find yourself in a bind. Remember that love shows itself in many forms...I don't think I really knew what love was until I met Jed. All those other guys were just a false hope for love.
My rule was 4 seasons and a road trip. And we made it through 6 seasons and 4 road trips, thank you very much! So, I say, do what you want! You guys know what works best for you and that's all that matters. I just love you too. That is all :)
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