the life-altering boob revelation

i had a life-altering moment yesterday. i was informed, to my shock and horror and simultaneous glee, that i have been wearing the wrong bra size my entire adult life.

i well remember the day when it was deemed necessary for me to wear a bra-- the summer before 5th grade.  i was at old navy with my mom and sister trying on a blue tank top and they giggled and said, "it's time, becky".

i was a woman.

yessssss.

so i did the training-bra thing, and that quickly jumped to the padded-bra thing. these boobs of mine never really grew much but they were something. they were mine.

when i was 19 i had a 6 month stint working at VS.  i was trained to measure bras.  i saw more old-lady breasts than any 19 year old should see but i was an expert at finding the right bra fit for others. come to find out, i wasn't so good at measuring myself?
*did you know, if you go down in band size you increase the cup size, and vice versa? true story. 34B becomes 32C, or 34B becomes 36A....

fast forward 5 years to last night. 

my momma and i are trolling the lingerie section at nordstroms because heaven knows i need new bras and apparently VS and Gap aren't cutting it for my girls (according to my momma and sista).  we pick up some sexy negligees and bridal night attire, and this cute girl working there who is the spitting image of red-headed emma stone asks, "do you want to be measured?" 

in the dressing room i take off my demin shirt and extend my arms like i'm doing a chicken-dance and she slips the measuring tape around me. she purses her lips and announces:

"you're wearing a 34, but your actual size is a 32. do your current bras tend to slide up?"

"...why yes....they do..."

dumbfounded. a 32?? it was all surreal because remember what i told you? when you go down a band size you go UP a cup size.  which means... i have BOOBS! (according to my new bra size).  i wanted to wave banners and have a parade, be on a talk-show--  announce to the world that i had been wearing the wrong bra size for 10 years and now my eyes were opened to the glorious truth.  seriously, who wears the wrong bra for 10 years? only women you see on oprah.

so we bought a dkny bra that feels like heaven and actually fits-- my womanly self-confidence has never been better! amazing what a little change in perspective can do... it makes me wonder what other wondrous changes can come with a little shift of mindset?  maybe oprah will invite me onto her show and i can share my revelation with the women of the world? one can only dream.

first things first though-- out with the old, in with the new.

go get yo' self measured. you be a whole new woman.

mmmmhmmmmmm.