a simple moment

i have so many things to say-- my head and my heart and their constant battle-- but i cannot say them without hinting at what i am feeling.  

and so, my heart will keep a secret or two and words will be left unsaid while i sift these thoughts, and dig around in my heart, and fold them both together.
over and over. and over again.

a little-known fact is i am a terrible secret-keeper. others' secrets are locked up with superglue and pinkie promises but my own tumble out of me. i nearly burst at the seams with news and that grin cannot stop spreading or those tears falling when others look at me knowingly, inquisitively. 

i have this moment that has replayed in my mind, 

over and over. and over again. 

as i was in that moment, breathing in the charcoal night air with tired eyes and being ever-so-slightly shocked by the shimmering shooting-star beyond his shoulder, i knew i would always remember. the position of my self to the mountains and the stars, having my heart shiver before the cold permeated my blood, and being enveloped softly but firmly by a goodnight. it was not new to him or i, but something in it made the evening and the whole day different. it was significant yet simple.

as i retrace my steps and his arms i feel as if i missed something. with my eyes closed i had blinked away the order of events, but my memory can never lose hold of his hands and mine, nor the straining of my lips and heart against all logic and a wristwatch.