- drew barrymore
i love waking up in happiness, feeling beautiful and full despite askew hair and smudged mascara from the pervious day. it is oh, so true-- happiness makes you beautiful. or rather, it makes you feel beautiful. and goodness knows that when you feel beautiful the world is conquerable and happiness attainable.
for so long i felt unpretty, largely due to the sadness which was cankering my heart. and then, one glorious morning last may as i snuggled into my yellow sheets in a small white room i could call my own, with late-blossoming trees swaying in greeting beyond my window, i became alive again. i breathed for the first time in months, and it was in that moment i chose to stake my claim on happiness.
every day since i have had to fight for that happiness, something my {blog} friend meg reminded me of. i have crossed over hills of emotion alone and treked mountains with my hand held. in all of my journeys, away and back to happiness, i have learned this: only you can choose happiness. no one can make you happy, and dependence upon someone to fill internal voids or toss your baggage into the tumultuous waves is dangerous for both parties. it is up to you to spackle, sand, and paint the daily holes. only you can unpack and launder the insecurities strapped tightly into the suitcase you clutch.
it is a process-- and a lengthy one at that, one which i may always be knee-deep in. but it is possible to move beyond sadness, to be enveloped in the security of your own happiness. and that is what makes you beautiful-- growing into yourself with as much joy as you can muster. that is why i feel beautiful in a way i did not, or could not, a few years ago-- because i mustered and fought and triumphed. boys and cupcakes and manicures can offer the painting supplies and help you pick the lock on your heart, but the brushstrokes and unfolding of yourself can only come through you.
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