piece by piece

the weather was temperamental today-- chilly for june-- but the sunset was beautiful. the wind would have rustled your tux and my heavy, ivory lace gown. the pictures would have turned out well, with bright flowers and crisp temple stone. don't you think our cheeks would have hurt from smiling too much-- for the photographer and the pure euphoria of matrimony? my small group of bridesmaids would have cried as we emerged from the draper temple, and i would have cried too, with happiness beyond measure, making a new family while surrounded by our respective families' love and support.

remember when we picked out today?
we liked it because it was an equation. 6.6.12.
nearly four years ago, we decided today would be the start of eternity.

instead, that ivory lace dress is stuffed into a bag, zipped and hanging in my old closet.

.....

today, as i was sitting in the draper temple, i felt a whisper: "there is more".

so i cried.

but the unfathomable feeling of peace settled over me and a flicker of hope ignited.

one day i will wear that ivory lace dress, and the groom will be sweet and dear to my heart. it will be more than a wedding day, it will be a new start to our adventure together, the beginning of a marriage and the continuation of a love story.

in the meantime, this quote surmises my feelings for the day:

"after...there were moments when i was convinced i would never be happy again, that, in an instant, the life i'd built and longed for had been destroyed.  even just six months earlier, i hadn't really believed life would get better for me.  i'd been lost, and in pain, trying to balance hope for the future with a dismal present.  confused and depressed, i had often despaired, but my faith and my family had nudged me forward when nothing else could.  and now, here i was...peace is always waiting for me after i despair.  in the quiet moments, inspiration and comfort always come back.  every time, without fail. piece by piece, god puts me back together and i keep moving forward" -stephanie nielson