i'm leaving on a jet plane...

initially i was dreading the 18 hour flight to bangkok. the 9 hour flight to paris 4 years ago nearly made me insane, so double that time locked in an airplane? i figure i would be guaranteed a straight jacket.

but i am surprisingly looking forward to it.
i have an army of entertainment/activities:

2 seasons of friends

prince of persia (mmm jake)

airplane movies

books: 

the happiness project

the little bee

say you're one of them

sarah's key

the ensign and scriptorials. 

a memory foam travel pillow (yesss!)

cards

plus my ipod and pink skull candy. 

i'll drown out those baby cries and snores with a little bon iver, ingrid, local natives, or good ol' michael jackson! 

but above all this, i  am mostly excited for time to sit. and think. and write. i'm indulging and buying myself a cute journal for thailand.

i feel like i need to get back to myself. back to the basics. i need space away from this provo life and all the distractions of technology (no phone, indeed) and the complexities of men and my job. 

i need to just be. and realize who i am, who i can be, and what has been holding me back all this time.

my brother, during his quest to convince me to take the leap and go to thailand with him, told me that thailand would do wonders for me-- not just the souvenirs and elephant riding, but the experience of being completely submerged in something so foreign and new. he told me it would change my life.

now perhaps it will, and perhaps it won't. but i pray that when i land in america two weeks from now, i will feel different and changed, that i will be myself through and through and be ready to face whatever comes my way, elephants included.