i am lot's wife

not that i'm a big salty pillar, but i'm lot's wife.

after working overnight i discovered with bleary eyes a talk my home teacher (who is awesome) left for me.
maybe because it was 6 in the morning and i was just crawling into bed or maybe because he was inspired... whichever the case i cried about being lot's wife. because i likened myself like good ol nephi counsels and whoa nelly, it wasn't good.

"in short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future... i plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been.  the past is to be learned from but not lived in... and when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives. so a more theological way to talk about lot's wife is to say that she did not have faith.  she doubted the lord's ability to give her something better than sheh already ha.  apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind... faith is for the future.  faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there.  faith trusts that god has great things in store for each of us and that christ truly is the "high priest of good things to come".  - elder holland, "the best is yet to be"

it is easy to doubt. it is easy to fear. faith is hard, but i have faith in love and i have faith that at the end of the day everything will turn out as it is suppose to.