a small list

i've got the apartment to myself, which is rather strange. i miss all the noises.

on the plus side: i get to walk around in my underwear. truly, one of my favorite things.

i thought about doing a gratitude post: "101 things i'm grateful for", or something to that effect. i could easily fill the numbers with modern-day conveniences like indoor plumbing, itunes, this little blog of mine, and my beautiful mcsteamy {car}. i could also come up with well over 100 food items i'm grateful for-- indian food {peshawari naan, coconut kurma, and tikimasala, oh my!}, mangoes and sticky rice, ganache, and strawberry-mint milkshakes. and let's not forget my downfall: french fries.

but this year, the things i am most grateful for are hard to adequately express. it is my friends and my family-- how they have stood by me. how much they have sacrificed for me and how they have shown their love. it is that i have survived this month. that i am still breathing, even when i don't know how. it is God, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the peace that passes all understanding i find in the scriptures. it is cute little old men. it is my co-workers who have wrapped around me, becoming another family. it is realizing how much i am worth.

this year, i am thankful for much more than technology and food-- i am grateful for the people in my life that make each day worth living. i am grateful for love and pain and music. i am grateful that hearts can heal. i am grateful for long hot showers that bring me back to my core. most of all i am grateful for god and his tender mercies. everything i have been blessed with, every day of my life, and everything i hope for, comes from god.

when i pray i create my little list of what i am thankful for, for the good of that day. it's my nightly ritual. but if i was to truly thanked god for everything, well, i would never get off my knees. but i want to start today, to be more grateful.

when i was little and asked to say the family prayer, i would fold my soft dimpled hands and quietly bless the cupboards that held our food, and the vcr {remember those?}, and all of my stuffed animals. i smile now, thinking of the simplicity of children and how they are sure not to forget to share their love, to share their gratitude. i want to be that little girl again-- because i am grateful. for everything. cupboards and vcr's included. 

it is my hope that i can be a more gracious person. that i can recognize the blessings of my life, big or small.  meg said, "most things, given enough time, enough space, enough heaven-sent perspective reveal themselves as blessings."  i am thankful for the good and the bad. but mostly, i am grateful to be me and for this life i have been given.