ask me something important

i survived a marathon of weddings in one piece.
thank the heavens.

the brides were beautiful, the food fantastic, and the decor pinterest-perfect.
it was all lovely, except i was asked one question, repeatedly:

"so, are you dating anyone?"

as if that is the most important thing in my life right now. when i reply with "nope" they just sympathetically nod and pity me with their eyes, before sighing and floundering for another topic to occupy the superficial small talk. you'd think i was reaching spinster status at the age of 22. sheesh.

why can't people ask about my interests, 

what i like to do with my time, 

what i plan to do with my life?? 

if i've read any good books lately, 

tried any new recipes, 

what my opinion is on sex trafficking or the objectification of women?

that is much more informative and interesting than
  "well there's this generic boy and..."

i hate that whether you're dating someone somehow defines you. there is this inherent trace of sadness in people's reaction to me stilllll being single, that i surely cannot be happy alone, or i'm simply not trying hard enough to find my eternal companion.

let me level with you: i am content to be single. 

sure, i miss the hand holding and who doesn't love a good make-out? but frankly, i have more important things to worry about besides boys-- employment, my future career path, plans after summer, projects i need to complete, old friends to see, church callings, laundry... the list goes on.

but while we're on the topic, i am going to enlighten and entertain you with a few recent dating escapades to prove i am not a spinster. we are venturing into the territory of blind dates. hazzah!

*i have not before mentioned these stories from some irrational fear these men would read about themselves. but then i realized, i will never speak to these men again so long as we both shall live, so let the story telling begin!

1. my first blind date was in january. we'll call him kacey.
my good friend and his wife set me up with his old mission buddy. the four of us doubled and the evening was actually fun-- in 'n out, nicklecade, and cupcakes.
now would be a good time to mention that i have a keen sense of discernment-- i know within minutes if i will "jive" with someone. it's just how it is. kacey, bless his heart, was not my type-- theater buff, short, very concerned with his hair, and he said the phrase "super duper". twice.
it was that awkward goodbye where neither of you says "we should do this again sometime!" and that was perfectly fine for the both of us.
then he friend requested me? haven't talked to him since. 

2. second blind date, approximately february. we'll call him harry.

i opened the door and the lighting nearly made me jump-- his neck looked like blood was trailing down beneath his shirt. that, or severe scarring from a bear attack. on closer inspection, it was hair. his dark chest hair grew in thick tufts up his neck, literally coming one full inch above his t-shirt! i've never seen anything like it-- and i see hairy men every day at home depot! needless to say i was distracted for most of the evening. i mean, how do you not stare at the hairiest man you've ever beheld? in actuality, the evening was grand-- doubling with two friends from my ward we played miniature golf and warmed up with starbucks caramel apple cider. my friend, who set us up, warned me it probably wouldn't work so there were no hard feelings when our opinions clashed and harry never got my number.

3. third blind date, end of march. we'll call him wes.
my friend kortney had been begging to set me up with one of his friends for months. finally i said "yes", he showed wes my picture, wes thought i was cute, wes called. he was charming and funny on the phone, and we set up a date. kortney kept saying "i've got a feeling about this one", i got nervous, but he made me promise i would name our first-born after him if things worked out.

looks like i won't be having a child named kortney.

wes was kind, cute, funny, and sincere. he opened my door and bought me a crepe {@ rolled up crepes-- yum!}. we talked for a few hours and i had a genuinely good time. a great first date in my books.  as luck would have it, he never called again. how bout that?

"and that's the day we found out wes likes boys"

there you have it. i could be dating 'super duper' and big foot, but they're just not my type. i'm holding out for a manly reasonably-hairy gentleman who's a "good egg". until that day comes, i have plenty of things to occupy my time with. 

so, if you please, don't ask if i'm dating anyone. 

ask me something important.