miss

"i miss you".

such a common phrase. overused? perhaps.

but i purport it can not be uttered often enough. because regardless of where you are or who's company you enjoy, there will always be a longing for someone. romantic or platonic. always. 

when you are little, your family is your entire universe and your friends are nice additives.  you are surrounded by everyone you love, and everyone surrounding you loves you. there is no room for missing, because they are right next to you having tea parties.

and then... 

then

you grow up.

you move out.

you move on.

and there, in the midst of your life, is a colossal canyon cratering your heart with missing. 

 

from one group of friends to the next, from one boyfriend to the next, from one phase of life seamlessly into the next without a second glance. some people fall out of your immediate life for another town. some for another lover. some for great causes, and some for no reason in particular other than you have both evolved into something greater than what substantiates your memory of them. 

i miss huntman.

i had talked myself out of missing him. really. truly. no missing occurring in this heart of mine.

and then, driving home in the dark night, i began to cry. at first, for no reason-- the tears came on their own accord. and then i shed tears for him not being next to me. i shed tears for our goodbye. i shed tears for a million inconsequential reasons revolving around us. 

which transitions into my discovery-- i will always miss someone or something.

i miss huntman. i miss my darling sister and her sweet family. i miss my momma. i miss my bestie. i miss old friends. i miss new friends. i miss cuddling. i miss art and i miss traveling. i miss warm summer nights and hot apple crisp. 

the truth of life is: when all the people i miss are in my arms, i will yet miss someone else. 

when you allow yourself to love, you create room to miss. so why love when you know you will consequently miss? 

what would life be without love?

all you need is love. 

nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. it's easy. 

all you need is love. 

- the beatles-