Monday, February 28, 2011

march madness, and no, i'm not talkin' bout bball

tomorrow is march.
march is the kickoff for spring {gloria}! march means four-leaf clovers. march marks the mere beginnings of flip-flop and t-shirt days. march entails friend's weddings, big academic papers, and perhaps a dip into night-walks and casual lounging upon soft greening grass.
march is also significant in that it broaches the fact that july is in 4 months. 
4 months!
how did this happen??

i'm not ready!
so not ready.
how did 20 months past so quickly? how?? it felt like an eternity at first, and then suddenly the past 8 months have whisked past me, leaving me dizzy. these next 4 are sure to rush by as well.

huntman should stay half-way across the globe because i have a sudden case of fear-- of being with him and being without him. of what my life could mean with him in it again. because regardless of what happens, he will be inextricably in my life. i'll be able to call him, to hear his voice on the phone. we'll be able to text. to go on roadtrips. to take pictures and laugh nonsensically. to hug for an indefinite amount of time.

i have existed so long by my self i don't know how to exist with someone else anymore. the mere thought is highly unsettling. 4 months... i remember when 20 months separated my life from him and now, the tables have turned.

perhaps this is the drug-cocktail of suddafed, ibuproven, vitamins, and fish oil talking but. . . . .
HOLY $@%#&*!

1 comment:

Team Lawter said...

Umm..I know!! I'm FREAKING out too.. FOUR MONTHS. 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unreal. It doesn't even feel real though, yanno? Like I just can't picture ever seeing his face again, or being with him again, or texting him again, or laughing with him again...is it really going to happen? I don't believe it!