failed IKEA love

Ever wonder why there are those unwritten rules?  I hypothesize that people long ago from a distant land {or yesterday in America, whatever} concocted such laws because, whether through disaster or triumph, they learned that despite their undocumented nature some things must be heeded.  The mere publication of such unwritten rules runs the risk of their importance being negated and might potentially incline idiotic imbeciles to be a rebel, live on the edge by breaking a rule or two, just because there isn't a giant handbook of unwritten rules somewhere in this universe.  The unwritten rule about unwritten rules is that they really should never ever ever be broken.  
     
       Case in Point--
            Going on a date with your home teacher.
    
       Unwritten rule about case in point:
                Don't. Do. It.

I thought that this silly inconsequential unwritten rule didn't apply to me. Turns out, I should have heeded the cosmos' supreme knowledge.

Date #1
He asked me. It was marvelous.  Truly, it shocked me how well things went; it might potentially be in the top 3 of great first dates in my dating-life.  We went to a Mexican grill.  We chatted endlessly and I was astonishingly comfortable with this man, my home teacher, who although he had sat in my living room for the past 6 months chit chatting and offering his services as a home teacher, I was discovering more about him in 6 hours than the previous 6 months.
We were getting along lovely-- same sense of humor, we laughed at the same ridiculous people during the Volleyball game, came up with great hypothetical situations... fantastic.  Lots of eye contact and joking around.  The game ended with victory and since the night was still young, at his request, we decided to hit up Red Box.  Turns out they had nothing, so we borrowed 500 Days of Summer and watched that at his apartment.  On his couch. Where half way through he nonchalantly put his arm around me and we casually-but-not-claustrophobically cuddled.  I was envisioning us falling in love in IKEA one day (not really--reference to movie).  The date ended with a walk to my door and quick hug.

Inside my apartment I felt content. Yes.  That's how a date should be.  Contentment, not indifference. Content is good.  I can handle content.

Actually I can't.  Because my imagination went warp speed and I decided I wanted a second date. I wanted to feel contented again.  

Date #2
I asked him. I haven't asked a boy in...too long to recall. Needless to say, it was nerve-racking.  Chelsea was planning this grand Asian dinner with married couples and engaged couples and... Me. So I needed a date.  I knew it was ensuing and knew I wanted to ask Home Teacher man.  Long story short, my deadline arrived Saturday to ask or forever hold my peace.  I worked up enough nerve Saturday (after our first texting convo Friday) to ask.  However, I knew if I called him I would get all flustered... So I settled on a text.  Don't reprove, it was all I could muster. 

He said yes.

Sunday dinner came, rather quickly.  I picked him up, he was kind and funny and charming.  He got along with everyone and here follows my favorite/most embarrassing part of the evening:
          
            Chelsea: "So you're Becky's home teacher, right?"
                 - all eyes turn and stare at us.  I start turning red.
             Home Teacher man: "You could have just gone with friend"
             ......... laughter............
            Home Teacher man: "Home teaching for the month: DONE!"
                  - we all laughed REALLY hard and I nearly choked on my potsticker. Fortunately I escaped the choking but still managed to turn quite red. 

We cleaned up and ate cherry brownies and played Buzz Word.  It was fun.  There was nothing wrong with the evening.
But I was getting the vibe, all night long {apart from the moment where Ryan asked if we were married and Home Teacher man pulled me in close and said we were pretty serious.  I amended pretty serious for a second date}.  Maybe I'm just hypersensitive.. Maybe I'm delusional... Maybe I'm just over-analyzing... but I really don't think he likes me, or at least  not the way that I was hoping he might because my vision of us in IKEA is still dancing in my head.
I felt friend-zoned.  That the entire evening and our previous date, including the semi-cudddling, was not a big deal to him and I was just another girl and we probably wouldn't go out/hang out again-- other than home teaching, of course.  After I walked him to his door and gave him another quick hug I left discontent-- not at all feeling the way after the first date. And it wasn't that he did anything wrong- he just hadn't lived up to my unrealistic expectations of IKEA love.  I escaped the apartment to ward prayer, where he was not in attendance to. Upon my return who should be sitting on my couch but Home Teacher man and his companion.  Ugh.
 The home teachers asked about the goings-on in our lives and a few comments were made about Home Teacher man being my "escort to a Chinese escapade".  Half way through their spiritual thought I had to bite my lip to hold back the tears which had spontaneously accumulated-- not because the Spirit was strong {as great of a message as it was}-- but because I realized that I actually cared.  This "caring" thing hasn't happened in some time.  And when I say some, I mean a long time.  Seated across from me on my lumpy plaid couch sits a boy that I could actually have the potential to like, not because he's just "there" but because he's great and hilarious and charming and memorable.  These tears sprung up because despite my caring, he doesn't care to the same degree, or at least in any perceivable way.  

So in addition to feeling slightly rejected {granted, through my own reasoning of the situation} I don't want to be home taught again.  Stupid Home Teacher man.

Which brings me back to my main point: there are unwritten rules for a very good reason, and they must be followed.  Otherwise you form a crush on your home teacher, fantasize about holding hands in IKEA, and are sorely disappointed when they give you the standard, "is there anything we can do for you?" at the close of Home Teaching without a hint of regard.

If ever breaking one of these unwritten rules seems appealing, don't do it.  And be sure to remind me not to either.