double coat of happiness

my insides match my outsides.

{occasionally}.

but when i don't know what my insides are,

coinciding these two can be troublesome.


i have yet to identify the complicated workings of my insides, so my outsides have been troubled with nothingness, which others take to be sadness.
sometimes it is sadness, but usually it is not. 

i am proposing to myself: be happy-- inside & out.  paint yourself with the harmonious hue of happiness. maybe a double coat, just to be safe.


when legitimately considering

"what do i want?"

i have NO idea what the HELL i want!

which is alright.

i shall be happy in oblivion, leaving myself open to delirious happiness
rather than the cumbersome task of forcing the attraction between two polar dispositions.

p.s. i've begun to ride a bike. sort of. this is big news.