if i give you a band-aid, will i feel better?

i feel uselessly void in the circumstance.  you see, i injured someone. it was purely unintentional. but i am not innocent. i knew i was hurting him.  even now, i'm unsure where i could have righted a wrong.

it was an inevitable injury. like how a broken leg results from jumping off a roof; a strain comes from not stretching. and while i may be siding with aristotle's efficient causation, a cause most definitely precedes an effect-- even in the case of a crush. actually, especially in the case of love.

so. i stood there weaponless hiding behind my shield-- firmly protecting myself; guarding my emotions and rendering my sight blind to his subtle advances. but... i knew his intentions {which negates my claim to naivity} but could only hover in the corner as he danced around, jabbing here and there, trying to break my defense with his superfluous offense. but to no avail.

not once did i raise my sword to engage. not once.

fully armored but unarmed, i beheld the decline of his immunity. with each thrash he only injured himself. his shield was never in sight. soon his helmet and shoulder pads fell into the dirt. next, his breastplate.
i cringed. i moaned for him.
finally, he cast his sword aside, sinking into defeat.

i simply retreated. 

he knew. he knew i never wanted to be threatened by a sword, snipping at the threads of my resolve. his persistence was unwavering. he believed i would. one day.

now,       i feel almost guilty.
but it's my choice.
he can not force my affection.
once before, i succumbed  {to mr. practical brown shoe}. but i shall never ever ever settle my happiness because of guilt, again.