dynamite

day 9: a song that you can dance to

i can dance to any song. not well, mind you, but i can shift my hips from side to side, step back and forth, snap my fingers, gesture with my arms, or maybe even bob my head as i sing along.

not so much provocative. more bordering silly. 

and i am okay with that. because dancing is a hoot of fun.

i took dance {jazz and ballet} for a long time, so i have some sort of soft grace inherent in my movement. i still point my toes and when i run, it's on tiptoe. i sashay through my apartment and even do a whirl when i'm alone, a pirouette or fuette to bring back the dizziness of a thing i once loved.

i quit, this thing that i loved. i was 15 and couldn't handle the pressures of the dancing world-- older girls in my class and my apparent naivety, my instructors' demands of perfection, seeing my muscular non-dancer frame in 360 degrees of mirrors.

i was good. turning and leaping and spotting. but i could not keep giving my all to something that was stretching me much too far, past the point of pain.

it was when i broke down in the car, outside the dance studio, begging my mom to not make me go inside to perform our jazz routine for the umteenth time that, she knew. she knew it was sapping the happiness it had once given me.
and so we drove away.

i drove away from classes and recitals. from leotards and tights, jazz shoes and buns.

i miss it, still. after i watch center stage or step up i remember that i could do something close to that. i was nowhere near professional but i knew how to control my body, to order it's position both in the air and back in the realm of gravity.

instead of twirling in a tutu, i dance wherever, finding freedom in music. 

so, a song i can dance to is anything. but for today, we'll go with

dynamite

by taio cruz

(music video has scantily clad woman, hence the no post)