how?

"how long will you date someone before you get married?"

 he asked it softly. 

i was quiet in thought because, how will i ever know? how will i believe someone when they tell me they love me, that they want to be with me? the fear in my heart shuddered and i blinked back the tears before answering, "i don't know". 

i thought i knew. my love and future was as certain as death and taxes {meet joe black} 

after 3 1/2 years with hunter, i thought i knew everything there was to know about love.
 a thousand promises and dozens of kisses later, our relationship dissolved like alkazelser {although less fizzy} and he whispered on the phone that he didn't see me in his future.

my heart literally broke.
i'm still in the mending process.
i have discovered the conventional ways, and a few unorthodox. 

now without further ado, the point of this post: 
{my favorite quote from meet joe black}

in a nutshell, that is what i want. when i find that in a relationship, then i may just be ready to say "i do" and toss aside my insecurities for something bigger than me. for love.