moving on

i went out on friday. a date, if you will {go me}.
my first, in fact, since the terribly traumatic break-up.

it was fine and he was lovely but i don't know if i'm ready for this, yet. to have someone else invade my space. to let someone into my secrets and trust that they will not break me, through ignorance or chance or malice.

i feel fragile. that the glue holding me together has not quite cured and the tiniest flick will send me into shatters. 

but i realized just yesterday-- i have survived. 6 weeks later i am still breathing and {usually} not crying.

some might even say i'm "moving on".
what does that even mean? moving on from the person i was with hunter... moving into new possibilities?
whatever the case, i am trying. my gosh, i am trying.

i am trying not to be stupid and kiss the boy whose scent is so endearing to me.
i am trying to forget the haunting words of hunter.
i am trying to be attracted to men who are not emotionally or physically unavailable {that's my thing, apparently}.
i am trying new recipes and going on adventures sledding and to buffalo wild wings. in those moments i feel that old joy come back to me, and i heartily laugh and feel my soul shifting into focus.