enjoy what you have now

i always wanted a little brother. but as fate would have it, i would remain the youngest in my family.

however, i somehow became the big sister to two boys, two boys who have grown into fine young men. today we celebrated their return from their respective lds missions.

farewell 2010

trev {white shirt} went to uganda

last hang-out, JCW's, 2010

and skander man went to ft. lauderdale, fl {haitian creole speaking}

it was a lovely day, good to see old friends and know that some things will never, ever change. good to eat too much dessert. {not that that's anything new}.

i know people mean well but... there was a comment that i can't quite shake.

little brother #1 came to greet the gang. me, in the midst of three couples. it went like this:

man hug... "and this is my wife"

man hug... "and this is my wife"

man hug... "and this is my wife"

and there i was. single. alone. awkward? so i laughed and whispered to my friend, "i feel out of place"

and he laughed and said, "you could say, and this is my husband casper"

i smiled but... ouch. 

i have this friend carrie, at work. she's one of those woman you want to be when you grow up. completely confident in herself, kind, and hilarious beyond measure. plus, a babe even when she's 8 months pregnant with baby #4. she gave me some great advice the other week, which i have tried to take to heart.

"don't let anybody make you feel bad for still being single-- embrace it. enjoy what you have now"

i am 22 years old, damn it! i deserve to be happy and wild, spontaneous and free! who are these people who surreptitiously glance at my finger and give a shake of the head, pitying my position? who mocks that i graduated mormon-central-university without a husband? 

okay, so my life isn't exactly how i pictured. so i do want a husband, one day. so what? i am enjoying the single life, this very instant. i am getting a little life-education to prepare me for the unknown.  and it is hard, yes, but it is lovely and beautiful. 

i believe that anyone who tries to belittle you for being single, or place guilt or blame for your "unfortunate" circumstance, is clearly self-righteous and/or off their rocker because a. the single life is pretty grand sometimes and b. my relationship status is my choice, which makes it done of your damn beeswax.  

so often i want to say 

"well at least i'm not stuck in your marriage! haha!" 

but i hold my tongue and realize i need to be the bigger person, smile and nod, and accept their {typically} good intentions.