don't you hate it when you wake up in the middle of kissing jude law?

my dreams come in cycles.

for weeks on end, they might be ridiculous.

like grizzly bears attacking me in the forest of my backyard.  or galloping backwards through time on a horse.

another recurrent cycle involves celebrities. 

they show up here and there in the background, and sometimes shimmy their way into the the plot-line of my dreams.

mcsteamy. jude law.  i kissed them. i woke up marvelously happy, even though it was just a dream.

zac braff.  i also kissed him. but wasn't quite as thrilled.

kevin costner. matt damon.  i went on a date with both of them. kevin costner took me to prom.

mcdreamy.  i was on the set of grey's anatomy with him when the fire alarm sounded. 

isaac slade (the fray).  we were legit friends, and he provided me with my own private concert.

and many more vague and vivid dreams which i shant get into.

as of late, i have been cursed with kissing dreams.

 and i mean, cursed.

night after night.

it's terrible.

in these kissing dreams,
i always wake up.

blast.

3 night in a row i dreamt a boy and i were in love, and {of course} kissed.
the only draw back to this {beyond that it didn't actually happen} is that in each dream, i had a different lover boy.  i'm a kissing whore (subconsciously).

it's difficult to extricate my conscious from my subconscious, to forcefully remind myself that i don't have feelings for dream #3 boy {but worry i might}. or that i am in love with dream #2 boy {but am still upset}. or that i adore dream #1 boy {but... this crush is driving me mad}.

gah. 

i find myself  daydreaming about kissing, even.
sometimes you forget what it's like and how great it is.
but not to worry, my dreams are doing an excellent job of reminding me.

ugh.

it almost makes me want to go lay one on mcdarling or some other highly attractive male.

but

i' have made a resolution to not kiss {again} until it could actually be the start of something. scratch that. until i know it is the start of something.
because i've kissed before, thinking it was leading to romance when really... my lips just got cheated.

so.
i will continue to be tortured by my dreams.
and let the occasional  daydream invade my day.

maybe one day... by a sheer miracle
a daydream or two might come to pass