love fern

the lovely ladies of 209 and i watched the infamous and highly quotable 'how to lose a guy in 10 days'.

of course, i oogled over the great kiss.
  {is my mind preoccupied? possibly}

* although... i don't really ever want to be kissed while sitting on a toilet. i do want  to be kissed like that by a matthew machonahey-esque man. 

 ...but i digress....

the love fern.

her instructions to benny boo boo boo boo boo:

"  our love is like this baby fern-- 
in need of tender loving care! "

jessica said, 

"i have a plastic love fern"

to which, we all laughed.

wouldn't that be fantastic? everlasting love, with just a little dusting to keep things shiny.

i want to be bright & shiny.

perhaps i should invest in a plastic love fern.

because my real love fern  may or may not be dying on the vine. i haven't decided, yet.

but

i have decided that:
love. is. hard.

and i wonder....

if water and sunlight are the ingredients for happiness...
what are the proportions? 

what time of day do i nourish? when do i let it sit? 

what if my well has dried up or clouds veil the sun?

what if i have graying wilty leaves? what if they're crispy brown and fragile?

and most importantly,

how do i revive my love fern without coating it in latex?!

answers would be appreciated.