the weekend was fantastic,
full of fun and wonder.
full of fun and wonder.
but, between the moments of laughter, it was also one of the hardest. stretching me and pushing me emotionally and spiritually.
i am absolutely drained.here are the bright spots:
*i attended the byu basketball game where we creeeaammmed fresno. like, obliterated. 85 to 51? wowza.
{ali and i}
i met a new fabulous friend,
and us girls had a wonderful discussion at sonic, focused on the stupidity of men.
{kelsey, whitney, ali, and i}
*i watched my first full episode of psych.
*i slept myself out of sickness {hopefully!} and with any luck, the moodiness of hormones.
*i went shopping with my momma up in sandy.
*i played with an old friend in sandy.
we went to wal-mart,
took the most random of pictures,
made a delectable dessert,
and watched how to train your dragon.
(thank you, box that is red).
{our celebratory friendship cupcake-cookie-brownie-- approximately 7 years}
i also received discouraging news.
and, on the verge of an emotional break-down constantly {estrogen, george}, couldn't think about certain things.
but once i did, the tears came crashing down. i could not stop the gushing crack in the dam.
i missed work because of an excessively foggy head and scratchy throat, and my inability to stop crying long enough to drive safely.
my sadness lingers because the things that usually lift my spirits -- like shopping, magic toast, and priesthood blessings-- have not rekindled the hope that always burns inside of me.
i am to be patient. but without more encouragement, i want to just give up on oh so many things.
i am tainted with a bleakness-- one that permeates my very heart, that cannot be washed away with shopping or painted over with cupcakes.
it's all part of the grand plan.
it's a process.
i understand that.
but, i yearn for hope on the horizon. i want to discover happiness at the end of the rainbow.
i want magic toast to bring back my smile.
3 comments:
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. :( Things will get better soon. At least you had all that fun stuff to cushion the blow of the hard stuff. Friday was such a fun night! I love you!
awww... becky! so sorry! man life is hard.. totally.. but i love you and im so glad were friends. i came across this really good quote the other day.. about patience :) "Indeed, when we are unduly impatient with an omniscient God's timing we really are suggesting that we know what is best. strange, isn't it- we who wear wristwatches seek to counsel Him who oversees cosmic clocks and calenders." Neal A. Maxwell.
Anyhow, i loved it! i hope this week is oh so better and amazing for you!
Are we like sisters or something? You and me...we are the same and must be on the same "cycle" because you summed it up right there for me. Let's get together again soon! It was sooo fun to actually meet you!
Post a Comment