it's silly, really. i've only seen him twice since january--once at a distance and once with shuddering eye contact.
last night i walked into a darkly lit room with music pumping and feet jiving. i love dance parties. after spinning around the room aimlessly i caught the sight of his erratic dance moves and spiky disarrayed hair.
my stomach dropped, thinking, no, he wouldn't come to a dance party like this.
but as he turned ever so slightly to the left, i caught his profile and the sharp square glasses.
i can't be here.
he can't see me.
i don't want to be manipulated. i don't want to feel guilty.
after 40 seconds of dancing, i split.
am i a cowardly lion? from running away from a seemingly harmless ex-something {because, to be perfectly clear, he was NOT my boyfriend}?
if any other boy {that i had a history with} were groovin', i wouldn't mind saying hello and jumping into their sphere of movement.
but mr. practical brown shoe shooed me away with his mere presence.
showing his streak of mean intent months ago only aids to my nightmare of him saying something truly awful, directed at me.
so is it cowardly or sensible,
that i ran away from the situation?
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